Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
