walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
