I'm drive I can fine osifer
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
