the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
