so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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