Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
