I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
