i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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