ugly people sure do ruin things
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
