did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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