It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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