The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
