I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
