I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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