oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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