I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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