i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
