I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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