summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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