Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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