I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm always down for nudity.
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