i was born a porn star she said
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
