i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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