i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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