i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
