i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
