he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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