I want to have your abortion
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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