I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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