return my video game
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
