shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
