do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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