Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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