So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
