Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
