i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
