like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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