Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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