yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
