just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
