The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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