I wish I could teleport
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
