Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
