i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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