I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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