If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
