He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
