Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
