3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
