): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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