so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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