sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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