just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
