that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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