That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize