If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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