i would punch a child for taco bell
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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