Your face is a jimmy john
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
