Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
