Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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