We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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