You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
