carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
