So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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