Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We got so high we made milksteak
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
