If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize