he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
