i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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