So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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