physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is wine microwaveable?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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