I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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