It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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